Feeling odd!

Sometimes I'll be in a great mood and feeling normal and within minutes my attitude will change and I feel angry and uncomfortable. I'm not sure if maybe it's just being stressed out, and being distracted for a moment of time to ingore it causing me to be in a good mood, or maybe it's because I'm bipolar. It's kinda frustrating because I don't like feeling that way. It really bothers me. I had and an appointment to get on medication for depression, but missed it because I had to work. Maybe I need to set some special time away from myself. I feel like I'm away from my kids to much already, and don't want to take more time away from them. Hopefully as soon as football is over I can devote ten times more time to my babies. Life has been so hectic and crazy, sometimes I feel like I forget to breathe. I hate it. I just want stability and peace in my life. I know that life isn't perfect and I'm not asking for perfection, just something a little bit calmer and relaxed. I'm tired of worring about money and financial burdens. So I'm going to work my ass off to give my daughters the lives they deserve. Wish me luck and please pray for my goals. I could use the help from high places.

Wake up Call

The past couple of days have been insane. Things between my dad and Bruce got horrible, and I don't want to get into that right now. Then one of Bruce's teammates and friends past away. He was only 26! SCARY! I really makes me want to change my wasy of life and how I am living. Today could be my last day and I need to go with a bang. I'm not going to hold grudges anymore. What's the point. How would I feel if the last time I ever got to talk to someone was over a fight. I see life a whole different way now. I just want what's best for my kids and my family. Life isn't always what it's cracked up to be, but oh well. At least your alive right?! I will live for today and not for what tomorrow should or could be. We are here now and we need to realize that. LIfe is to precious to take for granted. I hoope that I can learn from myself and my mistakes to not take things for granted. It's a scary world out there, but that's just part of living. And from now on I'm going to live and I will find happiness in sorrow, and the good in something bad. It's time to be positive instead of negative. I pray for Bruce's friend Ryon! He was a wonderful person with a gret personality and a huge heart. He no longer has to deal with life's struggles, he is in a better place. I don't want to die, knowing that I wasn't everything I knew I could be so it's time to change and I encourage all to do the same. Rest In Peace Ryon and watch over me and my family.

Overwhelmed

So life has ben crazy these past few days and I'm just waiting for it to calm down. I haven't felt my slef and things aren't what I wished they could be. Bruce and I have a lot of stuff to do and it's time to grow up. I ready to be adults. I want our own place amd our own space. I just want our own life. We just need to buck up and do it. I don't know what's taken us us long to get there, but hopefully we can do it soon. We are both ready. My dad is driving my nuts and that's not help the situation. I'm just tired. I have so much to do and don't kno where to start. Wish me luck and pray that we can pull through and make things work. I dont have much else to say so I"m gonna get back to work. Keep us in your prayers.